Back on the wagon?

Ok, so I've been doing a lot of thinking lately. I've never been one for new year's res. because I have always thought that if you want to make a change then just make it. Why do you have to wait for the new year? And what happens when you don't stick with it? So, I'm not going to make one, but I am going to make myself a deal. I have been so supper stressed lately with all that has been going on in my life with the kids and such that I really feel that I deserve a weekend of fun AWAY from home every now and then. So hear is my deal, I want to drop some weight, I'm going to say 50 pounds by August..... shouldn't be too bad right? 8 months to lose 50 pounds, that is only 6 1/4 pounds a month. I'm going to make the deal with myself that if I can reduce the processed food, wheat products, and sugar and increase the exercise and lose the 6 1/4 pounds a month then I'm going to treat myself to a few trips...... without my house hold. So I think I would like to fly to Texas in February to visit my cousin, April I would like to fly to California to visit family for the weekend and maybe I'll throw in a few more local don't have to get on a plain trips. It will be my reward so to speak. So starting tonight I'm back to the treadmill, I have to start all over but I can do it. I owe it to myself and want to do it for myself. I'm also going to start blogging again, just because I need to see it.

So stay tuned.......

not gone yet

Ok, so I haven't completely given up. I'm kind of doing my own thing. I've been sticking to the treadmill and have been doing a combo or jogging/walking and using the incline on both. So far it has been great. I'm not as regular with it as I would like to be but I would say I'm doing 3 times a week and that is way better than nothing. So slowly but surely I'm making a comeback.

More later :)

To be continued………..

Well, there you have it. I’ve lost my umph, my support isn’t working anymore, I’m hovering at the same weight, my shin splints aren’t getting any better, and I just don’t care anymore. I’m not saying I’ve thrown in the towel and have given up, but I’ve lost my motivation. To be continued……….. Maybe.

Week 3 day 1 of c25k

So Thursday night I started week 3 day 1 of c25k. It was rough, I only got thru a little more than half of it but there were some outside factors why I decided to cut it short. First of all I went alone down to the school track with Max at nearly 9pm. it was completely dark and quiet, so with my ipod plugged into one ear off I went. My dog Max was my faithful running companion and he was totally freaking me out! every 5 or so feet he would look behind him like someone was following us, he was jumpy (and is NEVER like this) and was freaking himself out and in turn freaked me out, so 3/4 mile into it I decided to just can it and head home try again another day. It was a rough run for me anyways so I gave up easily. However as soon as I decided to leave the track my nose started bleeding, and I had already had a good nose bleed earlier that day. Lucky for me I was wearing a tank top under my shirt. I balanced Max and whipped off my shirt to cover my bleeding face. Made it home covered and I do mean covered in blood. So that just topped off my sucky run. I have been having a rough time with my allergies lately and that has been affecting my running. But tonight I'm going to redo day 1 of week 3 and give it a better go on the treadmill. I have found I do better on it then running outside, it has a little more give in my strides so impact isn't as rough on my joints and i find I can go a little farther that way. My shin splints are still KILLING me, I know for a fact that it they weren't bothering me I could totally go farther and rock at this. I feel they are really slowing me down. I've tried tiger balm, icy hot, a running ban that is charges with negative ions (whatever that means) and supper stretching. The only thing that helps a little is if I really take my time stretching and do a good job of it. However I find I forget sometimes because I'm so focused on getting going.

Also on the weight side of things. I seem to be hovering at the same weight right now, not up nor down from what it has been for the past month. So I guess matainign is good, but I know I need to kick it up a little. But on my off nights from running i have been going for good walks or finding something else to do. I've been a little stressed latley with a change to my life, looks like the kids are going to be staying. And work has been really stressful for me latley. But all in all I'm feeling really good and have been getting my energy level back up and staying positive.

So I think that is all for now. Talk to you soon.

week 2 day 1 of couch to 5k

So back on one of my previous attempts at this I made it to week 2 day 1 and I struggled with it, that was also as far as I have gotten with doing the c25k. So today was a milestone, small to some but one to me. Not only did I get over the mental hump that I cant move on from my comfort zone of week one I did it without struggling. I stretched really good before I did it and though my shin splints were better I still had some trouble with them. But nothing I couldn't work thru. I'm feeling really good about my progress and I'm excited about all my small milestones. oh, did I mention I'm officially down 30 pounds? I'm seeing some small differences in my body, things like my biceps are getting more toned and so are my thighs. I can swear my calves look bigger but Matt thinks I'm paranoid about it. Over all I'm feeling good and happy with my progress.

Anyways, just a small update.

talk to you soon

yoga's not for the weak of heart!

So I've talked about wanting to try some yoga on my "off" days from running. So I put the kids to bed, Matt leaves to go running and I plug in the new yoga DVD I got last week. By the way, I decided to buy the 2 pack yoga DVD because it was cheaper than the beginners yoga DVD. Well let me tell you, I will be going to get the beginners yoga. I gave it about 3 minutes and gave up. I always thought yoga was slow movements, stretching, holding poses and such. I've done aerobic work outs that aren't this hard. I'm still wanting to try the yoga thing but now I'm scared.

I've been having some major sweet cravings. I'm going to blame it on the you know what. I haven't really given in like I want to. instead I have found some things that are still sweet without being too bad. Part of the reason I haven't given in is because I just don't have it around to eat, I would like a rice crispy treat right now but I don't have one, so I drink so more water... I would really like some Ben and Jerry's right now but I'll eat an apple. I would really like a cheap greasy cheese burger right now but I'll refill my water.... ugh.

I was really good last night. We met up at a bar/brewery for birthday beer for my cousin/newly adopted sister Jan. I made good choices, I had a sandwich that had feta, cucumber, tomato, humus and romain on it and didn't eat the chips, and I had iced tea no sugar. I felt good about it and didn't leave hungry. I feel I'm making better choices, and I'm proud of that. don't get me wrong I still do indulge every now and then but the big picture is getting better :)

That is all for now, just a thought.

Hot weather, long days, and not enought time oh my

Ok so it has been HOT and the hubby and I have been going running after it gets dark. However that really makes for a long day for me. leaving for a run at 9pm then not getting home till about 10pm by the time I get stretched and showered and ready to go to bed it is 11pm. That only makes for about 6 hours of sleep and that doesn't seem to be enough for me. So I've been having a problem with my energy in the morning. I'm dragging myself out of bed and barley getting to work on time.

With that said I'm doing pretty good on my exercise, I've noticed another difference in my body that made me a little excited. So I think I'm making progress. I also bought a yoga DVD for the hubby and I to do on our running day's off, but we haven't tried it yet. I'm feeling good, staying positive and wow, my mom even said I look like I've lost weight. so if she has noticed you must be able to see a difference now.

Today I ran on the treadmill when I got home, I was hopeful that a cooler house would allow me to run without getting sick. and I did just fine, so I think that will be what I do at least while it is hot out. I had a good run, the shin splints are still killing me. I tired icy hot before I ran and it didn't make a difference for me that I could tell. After my run I sucked down a slim fast and glass of water and I feel great. We are heading out tonight to go to dinner with my cousin for her birthday so I wanted to be sensible about my eating and not be so hungry I make bad choices. So far I think it is working for me.

Anyways that is about it for now. Ive been running regularly and walking Max on my days off but am going to try the yoga at some point.

Talk to you soon!

And the beat goes on…..

I’ve been struggling with some disappointment and been feeling a bit discouraged lately. However, I have been getting out and exercising. Matt and I have been waiting till the kids go to bed then running away, literally. Sunday night was my first real run in a long time. The ankle injury slowed me down a lot more than I thought and hoped it would. All in all I still got back at it a lot sooner than my doctor thought I would and probably would have wanted me too. I’ve been taking Max out lately and though running with him is a hazard to your health, I’m trying to work with him on it. I feel better having my dog with me when I’m running at the track at night and it is dark.

The disappointment is that I wanted to run a 5k the end of October and was going to sign up for it as some added encouragement for myself. But in reality with the 2 month slow down from being out of town and then hurting myself I’m just not going to be ready for it (mostly the hurting myself part). And here’s is the discouragement. I’ve been a bit down on myself lately and have gotten the “why bothers”. But as I came to realize the other night while I was out running, this isn’t going to be something that happens for me overnight, or even over a month. It is a work in progress and it will take time. I just have to decide if it is worth it to me or not. Of course exercise and the goal of losing weight is worth it, so I’m sticking with it. Unfortunately I’m an impatient person and like to see results quickly and frequently. So I’m sure I’m going to go thru more bouts of discouragement, but I’m also sure I’ll pull out of it and keep going.

I don’t really see any changes in my body, but I haven’t really been trying hard lately either (at least I’m being honest).

So I probably won’t update my blog more than once a week, with the kids and everything else time is precious (I’m blogging at work right now J)

So that is it for now and I’ll talk to you soon!

A little shopping

So this post is more about the weight loss then the running, however I'll talk about that too. So I went to breakfast today with a friend then she and I went shopping at my favorite fat girl store, Lane Bryant. Not only did I make a killer sale purchase I also found out that I have gone down 2 dress sizes. I was grabbing my normal (what I thought was at least) size and was finding it really too big, so I tried one smaller, and found it too big too, then went down one more and wow, it fit. So I was in a 26/28 dress and today I bought size 18/20. Seriously!?! The funny thing is that I have only gone down 1 pants size so I'm still sporting a 24 in jeans. But I'll take it. Over all weight loss has been about 25 pounds but I'm feeling differences in my build and I think that is the most important. I was told once to not count the pounds count the dress sizes lost. I think it is funny that I have a hard time letting go of that size 26 and acknowledging that I'm in a smaller size now. The best thing is though when I tried on the dresses (3 of them :) like I said a good sale) for Matt he actually said they looked good. That was a nice boost :)

On to running. So as you know I've had about a 5 week break, there was family to take care of then I was graceful and talented and sprained my ankle and tore the ligaments, but am making a pretty good comeback and am back on to being focused and determined. I went for a little test jog last week and found that my ankle has healed enough that I dont have any pain when running. It still hurts with certain movement but as long as I dont roll it again I should be good. I did start the couch to 5k ap again and the first day was tough, I didnt start off good because I was hot and tired but I gave it a go anyways. I cheated on the last 2 run parts and just walked..... so I'm going to start back up again Sunday (tomorrow) morning. I'm also going to sign up for a 5k that is towards the end of October, I think that little extra motivation is what I need to really be committed and also I have a small group of girlfriend's who are going to do it with me. So really that is the motivation, I dont want to embarrass myself and I want them to be proud of me.

I'm feeling positive and good about things right now, the dress thing helped a lot :) So back to regular exercise and back to regular blogging!

Talk to you soon!

I havent given up......

Ok so just a quick note to let you know I'm still here and I haven't given up. I'm not one to make excuses but when it rains it pours. I have pretty much been gone for 2 weeks then when I got back I fell getting out of my trailer, rolled my ankle, sprained it and tore the ligaments. So now I have a walking cast and a good amount of pain. this totally put a damper on things for me. But I'm starting to rehab my ankle, I'm able to point and flex about 3/4 of normal range and am now able to make a small circle. I'm not going to "push" it but I'm trying to move it along as fast as I can. I want to be able to sign up for that race in October, so I figure if I can start running again in 3 weeks I should be able to do it. So here is to vicodin and recovery and hope that it goes well and I can get back on track soon!!! I really hate wearing the cast and it is hard to walk in and I feel lopsided so I think a trip to the bone popping Dr is going to be in order here pretty soon.

See you soon!

week 1 day 3

So last night I competed the first week of training in couch to 5k. This go around is going SOOOO much better than the first time. And it is getting easier, I feel I'm ready to move on to week 2. On my run last night I was starting to feel like it was getting easier to do and all of the sudden the guy chimed in and said half way! then I was thinking I had one more run section to go and I got the one minute left! WOW I was done?

So the other thing is I ran 4 times this week. Excuse me! Will the real Joslyn please stand up? Who is this girl and what is going on? I haven't jumped on the scale lately, not that I'm afraid I just haven't thought about it. But like I said, I'm not on a diet, just trying to make better choices and for the most part I am.

I'm really looking forward to the nicer weather this week. I want to try running after work on a trail that is across Airport Way. I figure the walk to and from should be the warm up cool down part, and I should be able to do everything else on the trail.

My legs are a little sore today and that is probably from running 3 days in a row :) So I'm going to try to take today off but I have already been thinking about running so I don't know if I will.

I cant really think of anything else right now so I guess this is just a small update. All in all things are going really well and I was thinking last night as I was running that it might not be long till I try going with someone. maybe only another month or so.

Anyway, that is all for now. Have a great weekend and enjoy the sun!

Talk to you soon!

week 1 day 2!

Ok, so you know I decided to start up the couch to 5k training again. Today was day 2! I started off strong, wanting to jog more on the run parts, but like a lamo I decided to do the incline at 5 and started having shin splints about half way thru.... So for the most part I toughed it out, I only walked thru one of the jog parts and finished strong. Over all I feel good about it, this is still WAY better than my first attempt.

So I had an emotional afternoon. Got a call from the caseworker who wanted to talk about the family planning meeting they had last month (I know nice of her to finally call me). I already had an idea of how it went but found out a few more things. Basically I'm the big bad Joslyn who is so mean and cruel to Kim (and the rest of Matt's family) long story about all the horrible things I'm doing.... Whatever! We all know that isn't true. Still it upset me, it has been such a struggle with my husbands family for the past 12 years I really am at the end of my rope. I feel so worthless and beaten down, needless to say I was out in the warehouse at work this afternoon crying. One of the guys walked in on me but I'm pretty sure he was oblivious as most men are. So red face and wet eyes aside I got on with my day..... until I picked up the kids and started crying again as soon as I sent them to the car.

Point to my story is that normally I'm an emotional eater, I get upset or stressed I hit the sweets and carbs. I didn't do any of that, I didn't eat anything at work and I didn't snack when I got home. Instead as soon as I got home I changed and went for a good ole run on the treadmill and sweated it out. This is huge, and I feel good about it. normally I would have baked cookies and eatten a dozen (ok maybe not that many).

I did bake cookies yesterday but took half to work and didnt touch them :) also I replaced half the flour with whole wheat flour so I dont feel as bad about eating about 5 of them last night ;)

Anyway, the not surcombing to the sweets/carbs when upset today was another milestone for me. I'm feeling positive about making changes and felling positive about sticking with them.

So that is it for now,
See you soon!

Making Progress

So.... I decided this morning that I would try the couch to 5k training again. And what do you do you know I was able to do the whole workout without stopping early, without skipping jog parts, and without cheating at all!!! I know it might not be a big deal to most people but to me this is a good step! This on top of able to do a 1/4 mile without stopping are milestones for me.... baby steps but they are working.

I know I said I wanted to be half way to my weight loss goal before I started the c25k again but I decided that after no weight loss (but no weight gain) for the past 2 weeks I need to kick it up a notch. So I thought I would try it and see what I thought and I did it just fine so I'm going to continue on with it.

I went to the Oregon Garden Resort and Spa with my sister this weekend, and though I did indulge in desert one night, butter a few times, a couple glasses of wine/mixed drinks, and one big fat waffle, I was mostly behaved. I ate a couple salads, fruit, lots of water, iced tea instead of diet coke, and kept the carbs down as much as I could. I even got up early on Saturday and exercised. Along with being pretty active on Saturday I feel pretty good about my weekend.

Today I've been thinking about a few things... one the exercise, and the other positive attitude. I don't know why I let myself get down about my progress.... what I'm doing now is huge com paired to the nothing I was doing before. I have great support, Friends and family (most of them anyways) and I shouldn't be hard on myself if I go a little slower that I wish I was going. I need to keep in mind that it is about staying focused, persistence, being positive, and feeling good about what I'm doing.

There have been a few things that have come up that I have thought to myself that I don't want to still be this size when it comes up. so my goal now is to loose 30 to 40 pounds by October. I don't know how realistic that is but we wouldn't have goals if they were not designed to push us.

So that is all for now!

See you soon.

Off the Wagon and Back on again

Hi All!

So I have totaly been slacking on my blog! busy busy busy! But that is no excuse! So here is the latest update :)

Back on the wagon!

So I noticed yesterday with the holiday weekend and camping that I completely fell off the wagon, food wise. I did ok with my exercise while I was camping, a couple walks and a nice hike. So I don’t feel too bad about that. However I did hit the snacks and cookies a little too much. But the good thing about recognizing it the ability to change. So today I’m back on track! I haven’t weighed in lately, mostly because I haven’t been around to do so.

So with that out of the way here are the latest and greatest changes I’ve noticed. The BIGGEST one of all is when we were on the hike and walks I noticed that I didn’t get totally winded. This is huge for me! I wasn’t anymore out of breath then the rest of the group! And we were at a higher elevation. Now to be honest the biggest reason I don’t hike with everyone is because I get winded and can’t keep up. I still may be slower than the rest (thanks to short legs and a short stride) but I was keeping up and able to talk while doing so. This is really big for me because the last time we went camping I went on a hike by myself because of that very reason. On the way back up hill form the hike I had to stop quite a few times because I couldn’t catch my breath and I felt like my heart was going to pound out of my chest.

So the work out I have been doing has really been paying off. I may not be losing weight as fast as I would like but my endurance is really improving and right now I’ll take it. I made the goal last week to exercise every day (not a very realistic one I know but heck why not). I got 4 of the 5 I wanted in but I think I would have done all of them if I didn’t have to get ready to leave for camping (a work out inside itself). So I’m happy with that. This week so far I haven’t exercised once! UGH!!! Sometimes being a fulltime employee, wife, foster mother, and friend take up all my time. All of the sudden it is 8:30pm and I’m still trying to get stuff done. I will exercise when I get home today though and I should have time the rest of the week.

I’ve also noticed that my upper thighs are a little slimmer… just wish it was the belly J

So that is about it for now, I do plan to blog this weekend while I’m away with my sister at the Oregon Garden Spa and Resort J SOOOOO Excited for that.

Talk to you soon!

A side note on Hunger control

So I just thought I would share about what I found that is AWESOME for hunger control.... Protein Water Rocks!!! Special K makes one and so does Crystal Light. Both are low on Cals (only around 30). The Special K has 5g of protein and the Crystal Light has 3g's, both are low on sodium and each have 5g's of fiber (I didn't know that Fiber helps you feel full). both come in single serve powdered drink mix ready to shake in your water bottle. Seriously this is the best thing I have found, it totally helps me not snack at all! And they taste good and help with my water intake as well.

14 pounds and counting.... and a new work out

So, today is Friday, it is BEAUTIFUL out side, and I'm in a fabulous mood! Here's why.....

I weighed in this morning, I've lost another pound! so that is a total of 14 pounds now. AND I'm finally starting to notice some differences! That is the exciting part, besides seeing the number drop. The biggest difference is that I'm feeling great, I have more energy, positive attitude, I'm motivated, and excited. I haven't felt this good in a VERY long time, I'm talking 10+ years.

I've changed my work out and I have to say it is working great, I'm feeling good afterwards and I look forward to doing it. So here is what I'm doing.... I have a nice treadmill (courtesy of my parents whims) and it does all sorts of things, including a power incline. So I alternate between 2.3 mph at an incline of 5 and 3mph at an incline of 10 (that's the max) 1/8 mile each I do this for 30 minutes. Another cool thing about this treadmill is that it has a section that tells you if what you are doing is warm up/cool down, fat burn, endurance, or psychotic ;) Each have 2 levels. So with the low end of my work out I have 3 lights lit up, (1st level of fat burn) and with the high end of my work out I have 6 lights lit up (that is the 2nd level of endurance). I'm feeling the burn in my thighs now too. This also keeps my heart rate up and works up a good sweat. My shin splints aren't killing me, though they still make an appearance. I'm planing on doing this in 1 week stages.... I'm going to increase 10/3 until I'm doing the whole 30 minutes at it then I'm going to increase my speed and so on.

On to other things.... I found out this week how important good support really is. I had a run in with some doubt and hurt feelings caused by something my father said to me last weekend. Ive been struggling with that up until yesterday when I checked in with my support buddy. I have to tell you she is really the best support I could get, we have more and more in common with our struggles and our childhood every time we talk about things. I came to realize that MOST of my issues do come from my parents and my grandparents. I have been told from such a young age that I was fat, so why change? Everyone thought I was a lost cause, so why try? I spent my child hood watching my mom do the roller coaster thing and all the fad's. Never really setting a good example for my sister and I about eating right and exercising and sticking with it. Then constantly being dragged into diets and weight loss clinics when I was young, and then my favorite and you wouldn't believe how bitter I still am about this one.... the being told on a regular base that if I would just loose 20 pounds then I would be pretty and then boys would like me. I really need to let that one go, but it is hard.

As my friend told me yesterday, it is time to prove them wrong. I am worth it, I am not a lost cause, I am going to do this, I deserve to be healthy and happy.

So I've decided (and I still have to tell SS about this :)) that once I meet my goal, because I know she will be at her's way before I'm at mine, we are going to go shopping together. We are going to get the cute and sexy black dress, then our men are going to take us out. And we are going to celebrate and have a great night because we can do this and we are worth it.

Talk to you soon!

I think I can

So I'm having a hard time with motivation, and that seems to always happen when my Dad talks to me about what I'm doing. So I know I mentioned that a few years ago my parents sent me to a hypnotherapist for weight loss. Well it was my Dad who had the talk with me about it, at my birthday dinner, right before we ordered desert. Nothing like being told you are so fat that he is afraid you are going to have a heart attack on your birthday, but really is there ever a good time for that? So anyways... that didnt work, I hated driving to Beaverton every week to sit in a recliner with flashing lights and soft music listening to someone tell me that I dont want to eat or drink anything and that I want to exercise till I collapse. like I said, it didnt work.

So on to this time..... We are at my parents for Mothers day/ Matt's birthday and my dad tells me that I'm way to heavy to try running without causing serious damage and yes that's right crippling myself. And this guy wants to be a life coach, I shutter to think about his potential clients.

So I'm a little depressed and feeling pretty unmotivated about anything right now.... and to top it off my lower back is acting up so that is making me feel defeated as well.

So here is my solution.... I'm going to put the couch to 5k on hold for now and focus on loosing weight and exercise that isnt killing my shins. I do plan on picking it back up when I reach the 50 pound loss mark..... I'm slowly making my way to it and I'm not going to let anything my father says or anyone else for that matter discourage me. As long as I'm making progress and am happy with the results then that is what matters.

so weigh in this morning is 267, not a loss and not a gain so after what I ate this weekend I'll take it.

So, bye for now..... see you soon

Cookies and Brownies and Ice Cream OH MY!

Ok, so here is the situation. Yesterday we had a pot luck at work, and I ate like crap. This is the first time sense April 16th that I have eaten anything "bad" and I'm back on track today. However I did beat myself up about it a bit and I felt crappy after eating the cookie (only one but it was big, and SO good) and the brownie bite (size of a flat mini muffin). But then I went to the book store last night and the kids went with me. I decided to take them out to ice cream at ColdStone and got myself one too. I got the Oreo cream ice cream with a brownie mix in (yum-o) only ate half of it. But today I was back on track with my protein shake for breakfast and my spinach salad for lunch and for dinner I had brown rice with a little butter and asiago cheese on it (really good and filling). So I'm not feeling too bad about yesterday anymore. What really helped was talking to my Friend about it. Like she said, it maters that I stay persistent. Falling off the wagon (as I called it) every now and then isn't going to hurt. Today I really wanted another cookie but ate my orange instead and felt good about that choice.

On to other things....

The new shoes are great, I'm still getting shin splints but they are a little better. I did ice them after my run tonight and that was amazing. Instant relief, why didn't I listen to you sooner Jan and Sheri? I did start on week 2 of the couch to 5k today and did better than I thought. I really don't think I'm going to be able to run 3 miles anytime soon or even at the end of the 9 weeks. BUT this is good exercise for me and it is good to have a reference while I'm doing it. AND I am improving, but I know it will be much slower than someone who is in better shape. I have to keep reminding myself that I am really fat and that is a lot of weight to be jogging around.

Speaking of weight..... the loss continues. So far the count is 13 pounds, yep that puts me at 267 for my weigh in today. I'm not positive what I started out at but I'm guessing it was close to 280, I have been fluxing between 280 and 285 for the past year so I'm going with a start of 280.


So over all I think I'm making good progress. I'm deffently making better choices with what I eat and how much I eat. and I have been staying constant with the exercise and that is a big deal for me. I'm pround of myself and am excited for the feature.

So that is it for now. See you soon!

P.S. Matt is still running, and trying to eat healthier too! Go Matt Go!!

Shin Splints!!!

Ok, so first of all Happy Friday! Second of all I had to force myself to get on the treadmill tonight. I have had an upset tummy sense last night. At first I wrote it off to what I ate for dinner but now think something else is going on. not sure what but hopefully it goes away soon. other than that I feel great, just want to throw up. So I had a not so great work out on Wednesday, shin splints are not fun and hurt like hell. T

onight was a bit better but I'm still having the problems. I've watched a video on stretches and I think that helped for tonight's work out. I'm going to go shopping for some good running shoes this weekend and hope that helps too.

On the positive (there is a few things :)) I have lost 10 pounds in 2 weeks, I'm feeling better, not having crazy cravings for junk (only one night was ruff) Happy that I don't keep that kind of stuff at work or at home (sometimes the only thing that saves me is that I'm too lazy to go to the store). Nothing is fitting better yet but I think in about 2 more weeks that will change. The other positive thing is that My Hubby has been inspired by my changes and is making some changes too. He has decided to try to loose 40 pounds, and wants to start running again too.

I got some B-12 and some glucosamiune today along with more protein shakes and some good protein snack bars. I'm loving the spinach salad I have been making. spinach, feta, dried cranberries, grilled chicken and raspberry vinaigrette. so tasty and filling. And spinach is only 7 cals per cup and rich in vitamins.

See you soon!

a good start

I've decied to start a blog to share my story of trying to get in shape, be healthy and loose some weight. Blogging is inspred by my best supporter Sheri.

So, I'm a bit random and a terrible speller so bare with me :)

After spending the weekend driving for a relay race my cousin and her freinds were running I felt inspred. I finally want to loose weight and be healthier for me. And I think that is an important point to come to or you'll never really be comitted to your goal.

So here is my story.......

I'm 32 and when I started this I weighed over 280 pounds. I dont think I have ever been honest about that to anyone. I want to be healthier and I want to loose about 100 pounds, I have a lot of muscel but a good amount of fat too. The only time I was ever slim or "normal" sized I was very young. I started gaining weight around the age of 6 and was teased all the way to high school. My mother use to tell me if I would just loose 20 pounds, then I would be pretty and then boys would like me. My mom put me in Weight Watchers when I was in the 6th grade, Jenny Craig when I was in the 11th grade and a hipnotherapist 3 years ago. Needless to say I have a bit of a body image and self esteme problem. But this isnt a pitty party so I dont want to start feeling sorry for myself.

I have always felt that if people could see the real me then it wouldnt matter what I look like, but the fact is people see the surface before they will ever give the insde a real chance. So, I have started the couch to 5k program (ap on my IPod touch) after being told about it by a freind who started running using the program. This is a great program to use if you want to learn how to run and have no idea how to do it. Sofar I've completed week one, it has been hard but it is worth it. I'm starting to get faster and better and am down 6 pounds. I've also started SparkPeople to be more aware of what I'm eating. I'm not dieting, I dont think that works for me. I'm making better choices and being more aware of what and how I'm eating. so far I have had positive results.

Anyways, it will be a LONG road, but one I'm going to travel.

See you soon!