Ok, so you know I decided to start up the couch to 5k training again. Today was day 2! I started off strong, wanting to jog more on the run parts, but like a lamo I decided to do the incline at 5 and started having shin splints about half way thru.... So for the most part I toughed it out, I only walked thru one of the jog parts and finished strong. Over all I feel good about it, this is still WAY better than my first attempt.
So I had an emotional afternoon. Got a call from the caseworker who wanted to talk about the family planning meeting they had last month (I know nice of her to finally call me). I already had an idea of how it went but found out a few more things. Basically I'm the big bad Joslyn who is so mean and cruel to Kim (and the rest of Matt's family) long story about all the horrible things I'm doing.... Whatever! We all know that isn't true. Still it upset me, it has been such a struggle with my husbands family for the past 12 years I really am at the end of my rope. I feel so worthless and beaten down, needless to say I was out in the warehouse at work this afternoon crying. One of the guys walked in on me but I'm pretty sure he was oblivious as most men are. So red face and wet eyes aside I got on with my day..... until I picked up the kids and started crying again as soon as I sent them to the car.
Point to my story is that normally I'm an emotional eater, I get upset or stressed I hit the sweets and carbs. I didn't do any of that, I didn't eat anything at work and I didn't snack when I got home. Instead as soon as I got home I changed and went for a good ole run on the treadmill and sweated it out. This is huge, and I feel good about it. normally I would have baked cookies and eatten a dozen (ok maybe not that many).
I did bake cookies yesterday but took half to work and didnt touch them :) also I replaced half the flour with whole wheat flour so I dont feel as bad about eating about 5 of them last night ;)
Anyway, the not surcombing to the sweets/carbs when upset today was another milestone for me. I'm feeling positive about making changes and felling positive about sticking with them.
So that is it for now,
See you soon!
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those are all very important milestones--good for you! And, I'm so sorry about all of the awful stuff that's happening in your personal life... it is so hard and no one deserves it, especially someone as loving and giving as you. Hang in there and keep up the great work.
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